How to Drive to Lock Haven.
Wow, what a drive. I actually like long drives in the car. For the same bad reason I liked Lifeguarding; because I’m just sitting there, thinking about whateve I want. I know it’s horrible because I should be thinking about driving, or saving lives. but anyway, I woke up at four this morning, in my home town, and then drove all the way back here to lock Haven to get here in time for my 9:05 class. It was raining, and foggy, and dark, and I could hardly see anything the whole way here, and everyone around me was driving like madmen, weaving in and out of lanes when there was hardly enough space, zooming by absurdly fast, rainy wheater or otherwise. So I was pretty much gripping my stearing wheel for dear life the entire way.
And it didn’t help that even though I’ve gone that route probably ten times, and at least five by myself in my own car, I still got lost. Not only lost, but 30 miles out of the way, and I had to turn around and do the whole thirty miles again. Everytime I drive between college and home, I always say, ok, this is the time when I’m gonna get it right and I’m not gonna have to call my dad and ask where to go. And everytime I end up calling. never only once, either.
That this was the fifth time was just like rubbing salt on a bruise. Where do I really get off, not being able to find my way to my own college, having driven there myself time after time??
It’s really just a reminder that… things haven’t been going as planned. I ran the week of band camp, every morning. But after that, I was just too tired in the mornings. I know it seems like a lame excuse, but everynight I told myself it was so important that I get up early and run, but when it was actually 6:30 it always seemed more important to keep sleeping. So then I decided to run at night, something I was hoping to avoid once school started, and I did that for about a week, but then our power go shut off because nobody payed the bill, and if I didn’t have power then I couldn’t really take a shower and if I couldn’t take a shower after running the I just wasn’t going to run. and in the weeks since then, this and that have gotten in my way. Nowadays when I run I can hardly get past three miles. and the marathon is only a little more then a month away.
And then there’s china. I’m planning to go to China next semester, to study abroad at Changsha University. I always knew I was going to study abroad that semester, so I’ve been “saving” money forever. But where is that money?? I have no Idea. and even now I have three jobs, but the money still hasn’t started rolling in. I don’t think I even have two hundred dollars. and I need two thousand.
So anyway, the drive ended four hours after it started instead of three, with me frantically searching the world for a gas station, having been on “E” for longer then I felt comfortable with. When I finally found one, it was 8:35, and I texted my friend who sits beside me in class, “Do you think we’re doing anything important in class today?” because I was considering skipping it to go sleep. She texted me back, “no, just taking notes.” But as I got back to my apartment, I realised I had no excuse. If I left immediately I would be there in time, and really, I wasn’t going to read the book so taking those notes was the only way to get the nfo. And also, if I was going to miss my 9:05 then there was no reason for me to get up at four in the morning.
So now I’m just telling myself not to focus on what I don’t have. I have to tell myelf: I will figure out how to drive without getting lost, I will run 26 miles in the Philadelphia Marathon, I will have enough money to get to China. If i can make to class on time under such feared circumstances, then I will make all these things happen for me.
October 18, 2010 at 10:03 pm
the MOST important word in THIS blog is FOCUS!